Siken’s approach on sexuality has made him popularly relatable on Tumblr, as a vast majority of Tumblr users are themselves part of the LGBT+ community. Crush is all about the panic and the obsession over one’s sexuality and can be summarized by just this one sentence: “the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it.” In this collection, Siken blends in a terrifying symphony the fear at the bottom of your stomach, the hungry love sitting right next to it, and the taste of blood.
This poem is the reason why I chose to read Crush first, over Siken’s second collection of poems, War of the Foxes. You are in the eighth grade, in a small town, and being gay isn’t an option. His, or yours? “A boy who likes boys is a dead boy,” this is your memory now. In “A Primer for the Small Weird Loves,” Siken confronts you with a childhood memory. Second blow, he is trying to kill you because you like him. Siken sets the scene: you’re in a swimming pool with a boy who is holding your head underwater. The first poem I read by Richard Siken was the first segment of “A Primer for the Small Weird Loves” and it was like a suckerpunch to the gut, dare I say several suckerpunches.
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